#9~ Jan 18: Social Media, Sharing, Privacy...

I've been thinking lately about the way social media works.. The good.. The bad.. The ugly... I heard someone say a while back that he never really comments or adds anything on his regular Facebook page, he likes to check other people's walls though, he compared it to voyeurism (Is that even a word??).. Humm.... I found that strangely interesting and weirdly bothersome at the very same time. It got me thinking even more... Facebook and blogs kinda give others permission for that kind of behaviour.. Visit someone's page but never leave a trace that you were there!! Know stuff about them but never share stuff about you.. It's the risk you take when you share things.

I guess I'm guilty with some of that too.. I don't always "like" things or comment on what I see.. It's a strange environment if you really think about it... Turns out that about 45% of Facebook users are "observers" according to this one site I visited.. These people don't participate, they just "watch"... (Sorry, I couldn't help myself with the little peeping tom kitty photo...)

This blog is dedicated for one dimension of me...  My Facebook page is another dimension of my life. I keep my wall pretty upbeat, pretty positive.. Not to give an impression or claim a "perfect life", but because there is enough depressive, terrible things out there, I don't want to see that on my wall too...

I got thinking about this blog.. I was wondering how open I wanted this to be.. My Facebook is set to the highest privacy setting possible. I don't just accept anyone on there.. Now my blog, it's a bit different.. It will be personal but on a different level.. It's going to be strictly for the purpose of sharing the infertility stuff...

So where should my privacy settings be on this thing? I have wavered back and forth with that decision.. Keeping this blog wide open was my intention at the beginning but now I'm not so sure.. I have 3 options with this: 

1) I keep it private and you can only read it if I invite you. With this option the reader needs to have a google account.. Not hard to do..

2) I keep it open with the search engine on and anyone can find this, anyone can read it, anyone can comment (this is where the blog started).

 3) I keep it open with the search engine off and the only people who can find it are people who have received my link.. This is where my setting sits right now. I share my link on my Facebook page and with some friends who are not on Facebook who have asked me for my updates, that's it... 

I may change my mind at any given time and set it to private, at which point I will let you know and you can receive an invitation to continue reading. 

This blog started for one thing and has morphed into something else. At first I wanted to just talk about infertility.. Share a couple of articles, demystify this thing, this beast.. This was part of my healing process.. I wanted to fully surrender what happens next and not put anymore energy into it. I wanted to move forward.

I didn't know that the IVF route would spring back into our lives like it has.. I really wasn't seeing that happening back in November.. I know that we don't have a guarantee with this route.. But we will know that we have tried everything and that in itself will also be healing.. We are going for "No Regrets.."

So now the purpose of this blog is no longer the same. Now I just want to share this next adventure. Sharing what IVF is all about is going to be intense on many levels... I've read lots on the topic, researched it, but really I have no idea what I am embarking in with this crazy adventure.. We are excited about it.. I am thinking that whoever it is that will read this blog is doing it b/c they are interested in this topic and/or interested in "Our Journey" and not b/c they are just curious about this trial we bare and want ammunition to gossip and judge.. This quote below is truly how I feel.. If you have something to say, say it...

I have found a Facebook group where this kind of sharing takes place and it has been wonderful... It is called "IVF Buddies".. It is a closed group for ladies who suffer from infertility, who want to do IVF, have done IVF or are in the process (look it up if this describes you, about 900 ladies from all over the world are there). They update, they ask questions, they share pictures, they share knowledge, a few have blogs and private Facebook pages (with details of their IVF journeys, it's fascinating). They comfort the many sad news of failed attempts, they encourage the happy news of positive pregnancy tests, they uplift, they are such a support to me already... I've only been on that group for a couple of weeks and already have gleaned much from it.

I have no idea who reads my blog.. I know the traffic mostly comes from Facebook though.. I know that it is being read.. It's rather amazing. I've had many page hits, I didn't know so many people would show this kind of interest. I didn't know so many people would cheer us on.. I didn't know so many people would support us this way.. It feels nice!

I too read a few blogs here and there, I usually love what I read but I rarely comment.. Perhaps the world of blogging has even more "observers".. Iv'e received some of the sweetest comments that make me think that this is worth it.. Keep going.. Keep sharing.. I'm going to try and return that kindness back b/c those comments/likes have meant so much to me... It's let me know that you were here and that you care... It feels like support.. Like you are cheering us on. There isn't much else anyone can do for us at this point.. Letting us know you care and you are with us, that feels amazing.. So thank you for that.. You commenting/liking feels like this to me:

I am not looking for approval.. I don't think anyone will judge our choice to do IVF but I think there will be plenty who won't agree with the open approach that I want to try here.. I know that as I open myself up this way, I am also opening the door for criticism and negative feedback.. But the good makes it worth it to me! And really, if you don't like what I am writing then just stop reading and turn it off!! If you think this is too much, you really won't like the rest... Next comes the start of our IVF journey, that means more details!!! There won't be many updates on here between now and May/June.. Now we wait, we play hard, we enjoy this time with JUST Mia.. The rest will come soon enough!