#5~ Dec 21: Decision Time IVF

Written Dec 21, 2013


Well, I'm back.. I didn't think I would be.. I started this blog thinking that it would only have the first 3 entries.. It turned into 4 and that was that.. 

When Dwayne was sick, he found a few blogs where a few guys who had the same disease exposed the process they had to take to get better. They had the guts to be real and share their stories and it was so helpful to Dwayne who at the time was looking for that.. 

Sometimes it is by helping others that we help ourselves.. I didn't anticipate what was going to happen to us. I want to be one of these people that has the guts to be real and share my struggles. Maybe someone will see this and find the same kind of encouragement that Dwayne found so many years ago by reading some random blog... This is the main reason why I want to share the rest of the journey! 

This is going to possibly be one amazing ride.. 


I shared our story in the second post.. I am happy to announce that the story isn't over yet... 

Getting pregnant, as I mentioned previously has always been something we have wanted again and is something we have never prevented.. We tried and tried but slowly it wasn't something that was the centre of most conversations anymore. We relaxed about it. We started to accept that perhaps Mia was the only child we would have. But lately (since the "almost pregnancy" that prompted this blog ) it has become a hot topic again.. Maybe this "almost pregnancy" was what was needed to kick us in the butt and make us realize that we are NOT done this baby making business.. It made us realize that we really really really wanted another baby..  Previous to that we were starting to get comfortable with one child.. There are many advantages to having only one... What happened to us this past November was a pretty good wake up call...

During our last General Conference (Oct 2013), Elder Holland gave a talk entitled: "Like a Broken Vessel".. I heard it that day, liked it but that was that. I had been working on reading the talks again and on Nov 29th, I came to that one and read it over again and felt like a phrase stood out at me. Sometimes answers come in unexpected places.. I thought about it lots, it made me think about IVF and that started something in me, something I didn't recognize just yet..

The phrase that stood out for me was this one:

“Our Father in Heaven expects us to use all of the marvelous gifts He has provided in this glorious dispensation”.

A few days ago (Middle Dec) Dwayne and I were having a conversation about our current situation in regards to expanding our family and those words from that talk came back to my mind.

Now I realize that not everyone who is going to read this believes in God and I'm not trying to preach when I make reference to that but I am a believer so I will say it as I see it.. As Dwayne and I sat there talking, I realized something. IVF is one of those marvelous gifts that He has provided. Most people conceive naturally.. Some need a little help.. Some need a lot of help... And there is nothing wrong with that.. 

All of the sudden IVF came back to the forefront of my mind... We are blessed to live near one of the most successful Fertility Clinic in Canada with top doctors.. We are blessed with such amazing possibilities.. All of the sudden, IVF didn't seem so frankenstein anymore.. IVF didn't feel like something I did b/c I lacked Faith in His timing... IVF was a gift available to me.. Timing was wrong in 2009 but timing seemed different now, more in our favor...

We aren't getting any younger and in reality my baby making days are kinda numbered.. I am 38 and a half... We decided a while back that having babies after 40 was not something we personally felt comfortable doing... That only gives us 18 months to do something about this... The clock is ticking... We revisited our options:

The options being: 

1. We accept what we have now and give up on the idea that another child is coming to us.

2. We do IVF.

3. We adopt.

I commonly hear couples talk about their families and they know when they are done having babies.. We have never felt that.. We have always felt as if our family was not complete.. So option one is really not an option... Adoption is possible but again, a total waiting game and doesn't feel right at the moment. But IVF? That option rang pretty right at that moment!

Adoption is a bit cheaper than IVF.. Going to a fertility clinic to do IVF is about $10,000 but for couples who need one extra step b/c of low sperm count, you have to add another $1,500 for the ICSI procedure. 

Both options (adoption and IVF) are not cheap... Our chances with IVF are good.. Not a guarantee though... We might pay and end up with nothing in the end... But if it works... Oh man.....

Reading that quote from that talk took many of my fears away and made me understand something that I wasn't seeing clearly in 2009. There is nothing wrong with doing such a procedure.. We are not trying to "play God"... I battled with that thought a few years back.. 

I called the Fertility clinic yesterday (Dec 20) to ask a few questions. Turns out that we are still on their system, we still have a file with them and all we need to get back on the list is a referral from our medical Doctor.

Last time it took us months and months to get the process going.. This time, because we already have a file number, we are considered repeat patients and that makes us jump the line!! Instead of 12-15 months I could be pregnant within 3-6 months from the time of our first apt back with them.. 

It seems like everything was against us doing IVF in 2009, but this time around, it seems like everything is lining up just perfectly.. 

Dwayne and I came up with a plan.. We are going to see our Doctor in the next couple of months for a referral. Dwayne will finish his last semester at school. We will go ahead with plans already made to go on vacation with Dwayne's family at the beginning of May. We will continue to actively try and get pregnant on our own but if nothing happens by the middle of May we will return on the waiting list and go ahead with IVF..  

Having a plan feels wonderful... Maybe we aren't supposed to have another child... Maybe we are... Maybe the only way it will happen is with the help of the Calgary Fertility Clinic (A Marvelous Gift)... If we aren't supposed to get pregnant, IVF won't work.. I am prepared for that and will be okay with whatever comes. But at least I will know that we did all that was in our power and I will finally be able to put this idea to rest and move on with no regrets.. I am super excited..